


Saturday Mornings

by DarkMoonMaiden



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, Jealousy, M/M, Romance, but that was too much to ask for obviously, peter just wanted a relaxing day off
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-10
Updated: 2013-12-10
Packaged: 2018-01-04 05:28:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1077067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkMoonMaiden/pseuds/DarkMoonMaiden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter and Wade go on a date that doesn't end so well. Really, they should learn to expect things never going right.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Saturday Mornings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kidswithfirecrackers](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=kidswithfirecrackers).



> For kidswithfirecrackers, my 150th follower :) apologies for the wait, and thanks so much for being patient! <3

"Wade, if you keep trying to kiss me in front of the Avengers they're going to kill you."

The mercenary smiled winningly at Peter, leaning over the diner table and his food to press a greasy kiss on Peter's lips. The other grimaced, but the corners of his lips were upturned as he wiped off the remnants of the grease from the hashbrowns.

"C'maaahn, Petey, it's exciting," Wade said, scooping more food up into his mouth.

"How is it exciting?" Peter asked bluntly, cutting off a bit of his pancake with the side of his fork. "I don't like getting random kisses that are more like you just smashing your lips on mine and then watching you get used for Clint’s target practice."

Wade shrugged, mumbling around a mouthful of eggs, "Adrenaline, dude. Makes your whole life ten times better.” Peter rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, well, I just keep the adrenaline rushes for crime fighting,” Peter retorted, sipping from his drink. “And don’t call me that. I’m your boyfriend, not some random buddy.” Wade grinned widely at his words, obviously pleased.

Wade was about to respond but was interrupted as the waitress came by, refilling their drinks. She smiled cheerily and gave Peter a wink, side-eying Wade with a wary, vaguely disgusted look before moving to the next table. Peter felt a twinge of annoyance at the obvious disregard for her boyfriend, but managed a thin smile in return. Wade watched her go, eyes narrowed and cheeks puffed out with food.

This happened every time they came to this diner. The server had figured out their schedule--coming in every Saturday morning for breakfast, Wednesday mornings just for coffee--and would always make sure that she got to wait on their table. The brunette would flirt heavily with Peter, twirling her hair and smiling in what was meant to be a seductive manner. She rarely ever glanced at Wade, only sparing some disdainful glares for when he interrupted her.

If it wasn’t for the fact that Gwen worked at the diner and the person who owned it gave Peter and Wade free food, they would have stopped coming. Wednesday and Saturday mornings were the only times that the couple could actually sit down to relax with each other, so they couldn’t change the days they came in, either.

“I can’t believe her,” Wade stated coldly, swallowing his food. He shifted in his seat, pulling his hat more firmly over his scarred face. “Every single time we come. Every single time.”

Peter sighed, drinking from his coffee cup. “I’ll give her points for tenacity,” he said dryly. When Wade didn’t react to the joke, he reached across the table to take Wade’s hand in his own. “Hey, don’t pay attention to her,” he soothed. “She’s just being insensitive. You know I only got eyes for you.” The sappy line earned him a soft chuckle. “Do you wanna just leave? Go see that new movie you wanted to see?”

Immediately Wade’s whole demeanor lit up. “Hell yes,” he cheered. He waved over the waitress, who reluctantly responded to his loud beckoning. “Can we get the check over here? I want to take my boyfriend to a movie so I can make out with him and get him away from your face.” There was a choked laugh from the booth behind them, and the waitress looked horrified.

She indignantly snapped that she would get the check, and left in a huff. She flung the bill down without a passing glance, and went to the other side of the diner. The waitress sent Wade venomous glares for the rest of the time they were there until Peter held the door open for him and they left the building.

Right as they exited, there was the sound of shattering glass and a black blur in the corner of Peter’s eye. The diner’s customers all screamed and scrambled away from the demonic wolf who had bowled in, desperate to get away from the slobbery, snapping jaws.

“Oh, come on, really?” Peter groaned, already rushing into the bathroom so he could put his mask and gloves on without anyone seeing. He already had the majority of his suit on underneath his clothes--Agent Romanov had made sure to pound it into his skull early on to always be prepared for an attack--so all he needed to do was shuck off his clothes and yank on his mask before he could rush out into the fray as Spider-man.

The demon dog didn’t actually harm anybody too many people, but it did lead Spider-man and Deadpool on a wild chase across the city and did a ridiculous amount of property damage. Especially when it went down into the subway and demolished a train.

SHIELD showed up to take the beast into a holding cell after Spider-man had successfully webbed it to a wall. By that time, both Wade and Peter were out of breath and bone-weary, and the movie theatre they wanted to go to was closed.

“Man, I’m sorry, Wade,” Peter said as the dog was carted away, his mask pulled up to his nose so he could greedily gulp out of his water bottle. “I’m way too tired to go out and do anything.”

Wade leaned over and kissed him, earning a loud throat-clearing and stern glance from Agent Coulson. The mercenary gave him an unapologetic grin. “‘S fine, I’m exhausted, too,” he told his boyfriend. “Let’s just go and watch TV at your place.” Peter’s shoulders slumped in relief, happily agreeing with the decision.

They accepted the offered ride from SHIELD, since Peter’s apartment was on the other side of the city. Wade insisted that they stopped by the grocery for popcorn, which Peter and the driver had no choice but to allow since Wade was leaning over the driver’s seat and grabbing at the steering wheel. They bought cheap coffee and sweets along with their popcorn, and the sweets were almost completely demolished before they entered the apartment.

Wade took the first shower, but made sure there would still be plenty of hot water left for his boyfriend. When he left the bathroom, he gave Peter a warm kiss as the latter took his turn.

Since Wade wasn’t allowed within three feet of the microwave, Peter dealt with the popcorn when he finished showering while Wade flipped through the TV channels and selected a show.

“If you put on  _The Human Centipede_  again, I’m leaving,” Peter called suspiciously to his boyfriend when he got too quiet. Wade didn’t respond, but there was the telltale shuffling of DVD cases and a huff of disappointment. Peter laughed, and opened the microwave door when it beeped.

Wade pressed a kiss to Peter’s temple as the other flopped down on the couch, bowl nestled inbetween them. Wade left the TV on a nature documentary, arm draped over Peter’s shoulders.

They ended up not paying much attention to the show, Wade distracting Peter by giving him a peck on the cheek every few minutes and toying with his damp hair.

Peter eventually sighed. “You didn’t actually want to watch TV, did you?” he asked in playful exasperation.

“‘Course I didn’t,” Wade replied shamelessly. “This was a total excuse for cuddles and kisses.”

Peter laughed, giving him a proper kiss on the lips while shifting closer. “Well, I actually want to watch this, so let me concentrate.”

He knew that he wouldn’t end up focusing on the show, but neither complained. Peter happily lazed around the rest of the night with Wade, half-watching the documentary as they curled around each other and exchanged lazy kisses.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments/kudos much appreciated!
> 
> If you have anything you want me to write, send me a message on tumblr: darkmoonmaiden.tumblr.com


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